Bourbon Cowboy

The adventures of an urbane bar-hopping transplant to New York.

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Location: New York, New York, United States

I'm a storyteller in the New York area who is a regular on NPR's "This American Life" and at shows around the city. Moved to New York in 2006 and am working on selling a memoir of my years as a greeting card writer, and (as a personal, noncommercial obsession) a nonfiction book called "How to Love God Without Being a Jerk." My agent is Adam Chromy at Artists and Artisans. If you came here after hearing about my book on "This American Life" and Googling my name, the "How to Love God" book itself isn't in print yet, and may not even see print in its current form (I'm focusing on humorous memoir), but here's a sample I've posted in case you're curious anyway: Sample How To Love God Introduction, Pt. 1 of 3. Or just look through the archives for September 18, 2007.) The book you should be expecting is the greeting card book, about which more information is pending. Keep checking back!

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Current Events Poem: Dracula's Castle For Sale

Dracula's Castle Is For Sale, Owner Announces

Dracula's castle is going for sale!
It's gonna cost somebody boatloads of kale,
But I'd steal the money and even risk jail
If I could have Dracula's castle.

I'd pack vintage clothing and forward my mail--
I'd goth the place up to the tiniest nail--
Pipe sound effects tapes to make visitors quail--
And it would be worth all the hassle.

I'd put on an accent and dress really fine,
Attend swanky parties and maybe drink wine,
I'd murmur "So, darling--your fortress or mine?"
And I would score babes by the passel,
If I could have Dracula's castle.

I'd glower from towers that shadow the dale
While pacing the walls in a cape and a veil.
I'd gloomily brood on my life's weary trail,
And think of the people I'd love to impale
If I could have Dracula's castle.

But alas, it would seem that this dream cannot be.
They want 90 mil and I lack even three.
You ask why the best things in life can't be free?
'Cause somebody--either the owner or me--
Is simply too much of an ass'le.

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Anonymous bohémienne said...

Perhaps if you get together with 30 of your closest enormously wealthy friends.... it could be yours.

8/05/2007 11:31 AM  

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