In Case McSweeney's Doesn't Call Back Again, Like Usual...

Here's a very silly short humor piece I wrote that I'm submitting to McSweeney's Internet Tendency. May be a have-sim, maybe they won't even like it. But what keeps happening is I submit to them and then never hear back. So just so this piece avoids the black hole, here it is for the small number of folks who view my blog.

SUGGESTED ADDITIONS TO THE OFFICIAL SCRABBLE PLAYER’S DICTIONARY, SO MY NEXT GAME WON’T END SO BADLY

FAXT – v. & adj. Archaic past tense of “fax.”

HOGO – n. Very obscure regional British term for a salmon, carp or squid.

ZMIRN – v. To express doubt about something perfectly reasonable because you’re afraid to let other people have fun. Possibly Gaelic.

UNBROIL – v. To reverse the effects of broiling through some process or other.

QAJ – n. An Arabic unit of measure equal to one third of a hogshead.

ASSLIKE – adj. Resembling an uptight person like Jamie who needs to check the dictionary for every little thing.

YAUWOII – n. A genus of theoretical bacteria who also move very fast and no one has seen them. Plural: YAUWOIII.