A Fashion Warning: Eighties Loomings
I don't imagine that New York is the bellwether of fashion that it once was (now that anything someone comes up with in Milan on Sunday can be televised and Gap-ready in 24 hours). But just in case, I just wanted everyone to know: I was a little alarmed a few days ago when I saw a commercial declaring "Big hair is back!" And then when, a day later, I walked behind a woman in Grand Central Station who was wearing white jeans that literally had zippered pouch pockets all the way up both legs. Remember the proliferation of tiny useless zippered pockets, especially on jeans? I took a picture, and I'll post it later if you don't believe me.
But then yesterday I noticed something else: Huge bug-eye sunglasses. They're everywhere in Manhattan right now. Very 1982. You might say, "Dave, that's not a trend. It's just summer. Also, Lenny Kravitz has been wearing them for a decade." But still. The more I notice it, the more worried I become. There are a lot of things to fear from an eighties revival: pale lip gloss, leg warmers, hooker eyeshadow in pastel colors, and so on. So I'm calling on all of you: be alert! Somehow, a few years ago, our cultural sentries were napping and bell bottoms---bell bottoms!---made it past the goalie. Let's keep our guard up, people. No one want to wear neon ties and pre-ripped jeans again. Jheri curls, anyone?
By the way, if we have to suffer a revival, I'm okay with shoulder pads and ties being a little narrower. That's as far as I'm willing to go.
AFTERNOTE:
While I'm speaking of trends, I just want to point out that every day I take three trains each way. Yesterday, in three out of six cases, one of my neighbors was pregnant. (Including one who called across to someone, as the train was pulling out of the station, "Move my ass? I'm fucking pregnant, you dumbshit!" If her kid becomes a Scientologist, it'll have a lot of engrams to work off.) Today, just while waiting for the train, three pregnant women walked past me. Is pregnant the new houndstooth? You women be careful.
But then yesterday I noticed something else: Huge bug-eye sunglasses. They're everywhere in Manhattan right now. Very 1982. You might say, "Dave, that's not a trend. It's just summer. Also, Lenny Kravitz has been wearing them for a decade." But still. The more I notice it, the more worried I become. There are a lot of things to fear from an eighties revival: pale lip gloss, leg warmers, hooker eyeshadow in pastel colors, and so on. So I'm calling on all of you: be alert! Somehow, a few years ago, our cultural sentries were napping and bell bottoms---bell bottoms!---made it past the goalie. Let's keep our guard up, people. No one want to wear neon ties and pre-ripped jeans again. Jheri curls, anyone?
By the way, if we have to suffer a revival, I'm okay with shoulder pads and ties being a little narrower. That's as far as I'm willing to go.
AFTERNOTE:
While I'm speaking of trends, I just want to point out that every day I take three trains each way. Yesterday, in three out of six cases, one of my neighbors was pregnant. (Including one who called across to someone, as the train was pulling out of the station, "Move my ass? I'm fucking pregnant, you dumbshit!" If her kid becomes a Scientologist, it'll have a lot of engrams to work off.) Today, just while waiting for the train, three pregnant women walked past me. Is pregnant the new houndstooth? You women be careful.
posted by Cowboy Dave Dickerson | 6:29 AM
3 Comments:
Dude, everyone's pregnant her in Panama City, too. It's carzy! At Sallie Mae were Ben works you can go five minute without a pregnant girl walking bay. It's insain!
I'm pregnant, too.
-Jason
Impressed that you know what an engram is!
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