A Fashion Warning: Eighties Loomings
But then yesterday I noticed something else: Huge bug-eye sunglasses. They're everywhere in Manhattan right now. Very 1982. You might say, "Dave, that's not a trend. It's just summer. Also, Lenny Kravitz has been wearing them for a decade." But still. The more I notice it, the more worried I become. There are a lot of things to fear from an eighties revival: pale lip gloss, leg warmers, hooker eyeshadow in pastel colors, and so on. So I'm calling on all of you: be alert! Somehow, a few years ago, our cultural sentries were napping and bell bottoms---bell bottoms!---made it past the goalie. Let's keep our guard up, people. No one want to wear neon ties and pre-ripped jeans again. Jheri curls, anyone?
By the way, if we have to suffer a revival, I'm okay with shoulder pads and ties being a little narrower. That's as far as I'm willing to go.
While I'm speaking of trends, I just want to point out that every day I take three trains each way. Yesterday, in three out of six cases, one of my neighbors was pregnant. (Including one who called across to someone, as the train was pulling out of the station, "Move my ass? I'm fucking pregnant, you dumbshit!" If her kid becomes a Scientologist, it'll have a lot of engrams to work off.) Today, just while waiting for the train, three pregnant women walked past me. Is pregnant the new houndstooth? You women be careful.