My Favorite Line That I Wrote Today

It was actually a tie. Choose your favorite:

a. If they ever make a film about a greeting card writer's workday, they're going to have to decide at some point whether to be wildly inaccurate or visually tedious.

b. One secret to seeming like the smartest person in the room I learned long ago: if you use low-frequency words and phrases ("inasmuch as", "wherewithal," etc.), people tend to assume you've actually read any book you mention.