Bourbon Cowboy

The adventures of an urbane bar-hopping transplant to New York.

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Location: New York, New York, United States

I'm a storyteller in the New York area who is a regular on NPR's "This American Life" and at shows around the city. Moved to New York in 2006 and am working on selling a memoir of my years as a greeting card writer, and (as a personal, noncommercial obsession) a nonfiction book called "How to Love God Without Being a Jerk." My agent is Adam Chromy at Artists and Artisans. If you came here after hearing about my book on "This American Life" and Googling my name, the "How to Love God" book itself isn't in print yet, and may not even see print in its current form (I'm focusing on humorous memoir), but here's a sample I've posted in case you're curious anyway: Sample How To Love God Introduction, Pt. 1 of 3. Or just look through the archives for September 18, 2007.) The book you should be expecting is the greeting card book, about which more information is pending. Keep checking back!

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Finish This Blues Song

I woke up this morning, and now I have a potential blues song going through my head, but I can't make the damn thing scan or rhyme. Here's a rough draft, though:

I woke up this morning
And the lid was off the toilet tank
Which caused me some concern
Because that always means something is broken.

Sure enough, something's broken
But it isn't the chain--
It's the wand on the flush valve
Which apparently doesn't float

When I say wand, what I mean is
You know how when you flush a toilet,
A long lever on the other side of the handle, attached to a chain,
Pulls up the flush valve?

That's what's broken.
It's broken very close to the toilet flushing handle
So it's kind of like the toilet's arm fell off,
Right at the shoulder.

So to flush the toilet,
You have to reach into the tank,
Fish around for the handle-wand,
And pull it up yourself.

I got those early-in-the-morning, brain-hurts-from-thinking, cold-wet-right-hand blues.

I don't know what caused it, but my money is on excessive jiggling. I'm just glad it didn't happen on Monday, because that was the day my baby done left me, and it would've been too much to take altogether.


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