Last Comic Standing: The Aftermath
Again, I'm sorry if any of you wasted your lives.
But I must add this. Although I told people "I'm sorry you wasted your life watching the show," I actually liked most of the performers. Not because the comedy was so great (although the skinny Willy Wonka guy really was funny, and so were a few others), but because I just like comedians and the process of comedy. I was like, "Dude, these guys suck, but they're totally my people." Everything about them---the flop sweat, the anxiety, the badly concealed neediness---reminded me of what it was like hanging out with them all.
But almost everyone had a bad act, and I kept tweaking it. Like the one blond woman who famously almost didn't make it. (She's clearly trying to do Sarah Silverman, and she has the same tendency to assume that off-putting = funny.) She had that awful joke about running across her dad's porn collection as a child and discovering...ready for the punch line?...he's a child molester! Ha ha! And I kept thinking, That would have been a little funnier if she'd said, "And ever since then I've loved pictures of shiny, beaufitul young men. It takes me back." Or even something like, "But of course back then I was so naive I didn't even know what the horse was for."
By the way, I had what may be a typical comedian moment the other day when I saw that Netscape News had an article with the clickable headline, "The Worst Thing You Can Do at Work!" Interesting! I thought, and made a sort of mental note about what that worst thing might be. In the anti-climactic tradition of every damn article Netscape has ever linked to (why do I always try to kick the football?), the answer turns out to be: "Use curse words," according to some study by a research firm composed, apparently, of teenaged Mormon virgins. And I thought, "Why did I even think that the questionnaire would have a box for Masturbate In The Coffeepot?" I need to shower now.
But I must add this. Although I told people "I'm sorry you wasted your life watching the show," I actually liked most of the performers. Not because the comedy was so great (although the skinny Willy Wonka guy really was funny, and so were a few others), but because I just like comedians and the process of comedy. I was like, "Dude, these guys suck, but they're totally my people." Everything about them---the flop sweat, the anxiety, the badly concealed neediness---reminded me of what it was like hanging out with them all.
But almost everyone had a bad act, and I kept tweaking it. Like the one blond woman who famously almost didn't make it. (She's clearly trying to do Sarah Silverman, and she has the same tendency to assume that off-putting = funny.) She had that awful joke about running across her dad's porn collection as a child and discovering...ready for the punch line?...he's a child molester! Ha ha! And I kept thinking, That would have been a little funnier if she'd said, "And ever since then I've loved pictures of shiny, beaufitul young men. It takes me back." Or even something like, "But of course back then I was so naive I didn't even know what the horse was for."
By the way, I had what may be a typical comedian moment the other day when I saw that Netscape News had an article with the clickable headline, "The Worst Thing You Can Do at Work!" Interesting! I thought, and made a sort of mental note about what that worst thing might be. In the anti-climactic tradition of every damn article Netscape has ever linked to (why do I always try to kick the football?), the answer turns out to be: "Use curse words," according to some study by a research firm composed, apparently, of teenaged Mormon virgins. And I thought, "Why did I even think that the questionnaire would have a box for Masturbate In The Coffeepot?" I need to shower now.
posted by Cowboy Dave Dickerson | 6:38 AM
1 Comments:
Sure, that's fine, just don't go "Oh, yeah, f*** yeah!" while you're doing so.
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