Bourbon Cowboy

The adventures of an urbane bar-hopping transplant to New York.

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Location: New York, New York, United States

I'm a storyteller in the New York area who is a regular on NPR's "This American Life" and at shows around the city. Moved to New York in 2006 and am working on selling a memoir of my years as a greeting card writer, and (as a personal, noncommercial obsession) a nonfiction book called "How to Love God Without Being a Jerk." My agent is Adam Chromy at Artists and Artisans. If you came here after hearing about my book on "This American Life" and Googling my name, the "How to Love God" book itself isn't in print yet, and may not even see print in its current form (I'm focusing on humorous memoir), but here's a sample I've posted in case you're curious anyway: Sample How To Love God Introduction, Pt. 1 of 3. Or just look through the archives for September 18, 2007.) The book you should be expecting is the greeting card book, about which more information is pending. Keep checking back!

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Job Update (To Those Of You About to Be Dunned, I Salute You From My Groveling Position)

I’ll try to make this quick, the way you run over painfully hot sand.

The good news is I had my second interview at Dell today, and it seemed to go quite well. What’s more, it looks like I’ll make more money than I asked for, which is good, since I was trying to underbid the competition and asked for doodly. In other good news, I got a second job offer—this time off of Monster, of all places—for a three-month temp as an in-house writer at Columbia University. So what that means is that, even if Dell doesn’t hire me, I’m definitely making rent money in a job—one of the three I’ve got juggling before me—starting next week. And in the meantime, I’m finishing up my crossword editing job in a few days and that’ll be worth a grand—once I wait two months to get paid. Grrr!

The bad news is I was expecting Dell to make an actual job offer today, and to be able to start having actual income on the 3rd. Instead, they said they’d let me know by the 3rd or 4th, and I if it’s a yes, I could then start actual work the following week. Which sucks, because, by very careful husbanding of the money I’ve already borrowed from friends and relatives (Thanks!), I’ve managed to live for two and a half weeks—no going out, no unnecessary subway trips, a strict diet of homemade sandwiches, homemade burritos, and ramen. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to pass the hat again. But as I sit here in front of the computer, my liquid assets have dwindled to 6 dollars and change in the bank, and a MetroCard worth five more rides. Rent, of course, is due, but I think I can get a dispensation to miss a month if I pay a thousand a month for the next three.

By my calculations, I’ll need to live for three more weeks before I see a paycheck, and that comes to about 200 dollars. So I may be asking for loans soon (dividing among several people to minimize the damage) and I just thought I’d let everyone know. I’ve been looking on Craigslist for a few quick writing-for-cash-today deals, and I’ve found a few. (A guy who needs a poem for a wedding, a comedian who needs his jokes punched up, etc.) But I can’t do them until I finish my crossword editing, which will probably work me 16 hours a day until the third. So that’s the bind I’m in. It’s definitely a better bind than it was two or three weeks ago. But it’ll still be two months or so before I can pay people back, so bear that in mind.

God, I hate doing this. If only I’d known what this city was gonna be like . . . Everyone believed in me so much I forgot to use self-defense. Sorry, y’all.


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