Brought to You by the Letter C and the Number 22
An hour's drive later, up at the nearest T-Mobile store in Albany, I found out that in order to get a replacement phone, I needed to call and file a claim. The T-Mobile guys handed me a phone to place the call with, and the woman on the other end said, "Okay, we'll get your phone to you. But there's a $4o fee. Will you be paying with a credit card?"
I've had a day to think about it (and another 3,000 words of productivity, happily), and I think what I should have done is bought a phone immediately and worked on getting the free replacement later. All I know is, I'm planning to travel into Manhattan again this weekend, and if I don't have a phone, things will be very unpleasant.
By the way, I've received a total of four emails from people. Let me reiterate: If you know me, I need your phone number. I'm completely serious about this.