Bourbon Cowboy

The adventures of an urbane bar-hopping transplant to New York.

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Location: New York, New York, United States

I'm a storyteller in the New York area who is a regular on NPR's "This American Life" and at shows around the city. Moved to New York in 2006 and am working on selling a memoir of my years as a greeting card writer, and (as a personal, noncommercial obsession) a nonfiction book called "How to Love God Without Being a Jerk." My agent is Adam Chromy at Artists and Artisans. If you came here after hearing about my book on "This American Life" and Googling my name, the "How to Love God" book itself isn't in print yet, and may not even see print in its current form (I'm focusing on humorous memoir), but here's a sample I've posted in case you're curious anyway: Sample How To Love God Introduction, Pt. 1 of 3. Or just look through the archives for September 18, 2007.) The book you should be expecting is the greeting card book, about which more information is pending. Keep checking back!

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Great Missed Game Opportunities

My friend Francis has just posted a very entertaining piece about two truly wretched movie tie-in boardgames: Pirates of the Caribbean Scrabble, and Shrek Othello. You can enjoy the snark here.

What struck me upon reflection, however, is that there are a host of potentially wonderful tie-ins that never appeared in the first place. For example, there is no Charlie and the Chocolate Factory version of Candy Land! If ever a simple game demanded interesting new market-tested twists, that baby's it! And yet the world will have to wait another thirty years or so for the next director's sally. Sigh. Here are some other misses I thought of. If any Hollywood marketers are out there, I'd like to point out the following lapses as a caution to the inattentive:

Atlantic City Monopoly

Frankenstein's The Game of Life

Pulp Fiction Connect Four (also works with any multi-strand movie it seems to have inspired, from Go to Two Days in the Valley to Magnolia to Babel)

An Incident at Owl Creek Bridge Hangman

Twister Twister

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly Operation (be very, very careful!)

Atonement Sorry!

and of course,

The Seventh Seal Chess Set

I'm sure there are others, of course. Fire away.

P.S.: When I did some quick web research to make sure there was, in fact, no Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Candy Land, I got this surprising page on the search term "chocolate factory." Which of these things doesn't belong, and yet is cooler than all the others?

P.P.S. I was tempted to add "The 300 Bunch of Plastic Swords for Homophobic Dumbfucks to Jump Around and Hit Each Other With for Two Mindless Hours." But I guess you could just as easily call it "300 Aggravation."

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Blogger HawaiianBrian said...

"The 300 Bunch of Plastic Swords for Homophobic Dumbfucks to Jump Around and Hit Each Other With for Two Mindless Hours." But I guess you could just as easily call it "300 Aggravation."

That's a good one. I didn't see what everyone else saw in 300, I guess. It was lacking a few things, like it felt as though it had no internal geography. The pass didn't look like a pass, just a gap between some stones. And the villains were disappointing. Each one looked so menacing, promising great travails to come, but they each (including the weakest rhino in cinema history) fell at a swordstroke. So all that was left was beefcake and swagger and testosterone.

2/05/2008 6:46 PM  
Anonymous Derek said...

oh man, you really got me with the Atonement version of Sorry! I'm still laughing. --Derek

2/06/2008 12:28 AM  

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