Flame And Variations

In the puzzle biz, you run across a lot of quotes. Not only in anacrostics and cryptograms (though those are big), but in little things like Letter Drops (I think Penny Press calls them Quote Falls) and mini-anacrostics (Dell calls them Figgerits) and suchlike. As a result, a lot of quotes, proposed as solutions to puzzles, pass my gaze. Most of them are merely competent and/or indifferent variations on Readers Digest themes like "To get success you must strive," "Don't talk so much," and "Pessimists are bad." It's a rare one indeed that arrests the attention.

The other day, however, I chanced to notice one that has been bugging me ever since. I hereby award it the Bourbon Cowboy Prize For Understatement in a Quotation. Here it is:

"It is bad advice to settle with a flamethrower what could be accomplished with words."

Well, yes. Ever since then my mind has been fermenting and coming up with variations on the quote that might make a little more sense and actually be worth solving. Such as these:

"It is bad advice to settle with a flamethrower what could be accomplished with words, and whoever gives you this advice should never be offered a cigarette."

"It is bad advice to settle with a flamethrower what could be accomplished with a single clean shot to the head."

"It is wrong to settle with a flamethrower what could be accomplished with words. But it's way more fun."

"It is bad advice to settle with a flamethrower what could be accomplished with words. But if you're ever tempted to, tell me ... where did you get the flamethrower?"

And so on.