Two Jokes

First, there's a woman named Raquel who hosts the Open Mike Comedy night at the Village Lantern, and she's got a great joke that she apparently refuses to tell except under duress. In the interest of popularizing her vision, I hereby share it:

"We should all get together and buy a chicken farm. I'd want to call it Tuna of the Land."

And now mine---it's not even a joke, I guess, but just a really mean thing to say. But it felt good to write it down, and I hereby share it with you. It might go into my slowly-developing act:

“Did you know they use the evolution of microorganisms to find oil? So it’s amazing to me that George Bush, an oil man, would say with a straight face that ‘the jury is still out’ on evolution. I’ve never seen an administration so proud of its own ignorance. If I ever meet George Bush, I won’t say a thing to him. I’m just going to hold out my keys and jingle them and see if he tries to stick them in his mouth.”